How Donald Took 75 Years to Understand the Meaning of “To Be or Not To Be.”
Before I completed high school, one of my buddies, Alan encouraged me to join him in signing up (I was sixteen), for the reserve forces at a base close to my home of the Royal Canadian Engineers; he and I became ‘Sappers’ the name for a private in the CF RCE. I spent four and a half years as a ‘spare time’ soldier while living my life growing up in a highly privileged home and community and to be sure I enjoyed myself immensely. The mountains forest and seashore were my playground and my friends seemed to have similar motives as I. Except for one thing.
Well before my sixteenth birthday the harassment of my father’s misplaced expectations toward proper execution of his meaning of my responsibility toward the ‘three r’s’ and anything else he deemed requiring corporal punishment exceeded itself! Most of the time his discipline, which I suspected was not appropriate (he never punched any of his friends, my mother nor my brother and sister) but he made a habit of beating me unmercifully more often than not. Not only would he use physical violence but not at the same time, he would also enlist verbal shaming techniques. Very often in front of my friends, but not in front of my family: I know now he was making me pay for his own lack of ‘education’. In doing so, he made a big mistake on my behalf.
The net affect of my father’s disciplining techniques has been to introduce a profound sense of confusion into my psyche which has converted into a neurosis that plagues me to this day. The outcome from the trauma and my ability to articulate it has resulted in a lifetime career that parallels and enhances my multitude of careers which have emerged from my dealing with my neurosis and making highly influenced neurotic lifestyle and income producing choices and shaky engagements made that way because of confusion promulgated from my neurosis’.